Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thursday in the Institution

My roommate finally got to go home. First it was Tuesday, then Wednesday, and finally she made it out today. It was supposed to be 10 am and I waited with her until 11 am and decided I better get to physical therapy. I really wanted to be there when they finally came for her. About 9:30, someone from the ambulance company showed up and told her, "come hell or high water, you're going home today." So I went to PT and when I was in the lobby, I saw the ambulance and they were pushing in a stretcher and I knew it would be another 30 minutes so I just went to PT. Sure enough, when I got back to my room, she was gone. Just a bag of used bed linens in a plastic bag and a bare mattress.

My day started with a respiratory woman coming in the bathroom as I'm sitting on the toilet. I told her I can do the nebulizer myself and to just leave it for me. She said, "I have to assess you." That means I have to stick my finger in her oximeter. I wanted to say, "Can't I just go to the toilet in peace?"

She returns about 20 minutes later and I am in a dark mood. Just on general principals. I just want her to "assess" me and leave me alone. I was giving her terse, one word answers. Finally she says to me, "Do you miss being home?" I looked at her and for the first time in my life, I wanted to use the phrase, "you dumb b-word". Instead, I said, "You know, that's a really dumb question. What do you think?"

I go to PT and am happily greeted by James who grabs my wheelchair and pretends like he's kidnapping me. He told me that in the morning meeting, he suggested that he take over my PT from Joyce, how we have a good relationship and it would be good for me to have someone new. In the meeting, Joyce said, "You are NOT taking my favorite person from me." So James said they were fighting over me.

That made me feel good, not that I was being fought over, but as confirmation that I really am this pleasant, cooperative person if I am treated pleasantly and cooperatively.

Before I left, my roommate told me that I am a Renaissance woman (I don't think she really knew what that meant) and then added, "You like to get things done" and I sort of had to laugh because she's right. I like to get things done, and the inefficiency, laziness, etc makes me crazy.

I defied authority by leaving my banana peel on the tray today. I was sort of hoping that I would get in trouble for eating a piece of fresh fruit.  I wanted to see how they would justify it.

Meanwhile, I was enjoying my privacy post-PT and hoping I didn't get a new roommate, but my privacy was short lived. Standy by, folks, because I think this new roommate is going to push me over the edge. We'll call her Cathy, as in Chatty Cathy. She keeps trying to tell me these boring stories about her father and his electrical wiring or something She talks continually. She has 10 boxes of stuff with her. There's no way all this stuff will fit. You basically get a small closet (more like an armoire), a nightstand with three drawers and that's it.

Right now I am waiting for Phil to arrive with smuggled food... and he'll take me outside so I can get away from Cathy for a while. She just told them that she sleeps reverse, with her head at the foot at the bed. Oh goody.

I am also working on an article for a client where I'm about 2/3tds finished.

I just did something really bitchy. I closed the curtain between the beds. She is gabbing a mile a minute with the aide about something while this maintenance guy is whacking the foot of the bed, with a mallet trying to remove it. Enough is enough, I also have a bad habit of pretending to listen to people's long, boring stories and that only encourages them. I really want to say, "What is it that makes you think I care about your father's electrical wiring?" Really.

to be continued...


Amy Laboda said...

Tell Phil I said hi. I'm so glad he's there to help.

Mary said...

Chatty Cathy sounds painful