This reminds me of a sentence I use when I am coaching writers. Most new writers try to use very fancy language -- words that they would never use on their own. So I quote a sentence from Hemingway, someone everyone has heard of, no matter how young. He wrote:
We sat in the sun and drank wine. It was good.
I love those two sentences... and I hope Mary and Michelle sitting in the sun and drinking wine was equally good!
|First, here's the Constentia winery where they had lunch.|
|So let's rewrite Hemingway and say, "We sat in the shade and drank wine. It was good."|