I had a frightful realization today and that was that my attitudes about money are nearly identical to my parents. I caught myself being cheap with myself twice today. The first time was with a plastic bottle of shower gel which I used up today. I have become more strict about recycling. In days past, I would have just thrown the plastic bottle in the bathroom trash, but now I wanted to take it upstairs for the recycling bin. I took it out of the shower, put it on the sink, and a while later I realized that there was still 1/16 of an ounce of shower gel still in the bottle.
That threw me into a quandary. Not enough for a full shower -- maybe I could wash my hands with it -- and I am sorry to admit it momentarily paralyzed me. Finally I had to take the fricking bottle and put it in recycling-- yes with that UNUSED 1/16 of an ounce.
If I ran a video of my memories of my father, that video would include him turning bottles upside down -- ketchup, shampoo, whatever to get that last bit. I thought everyone did that until I found out that everyone doesn't do that.
And yet, I'll splurge. I'll buy good clothes and spend money in restaurants and loan money without giving it a second thought. But it's little unnecessary (or so I tell myself) items that cause me grief. I wanted to buy this certain Christmas candy to bring to Mary's for our gathering and couldn't find it in the catalog where I'd ordered it. I googled a description and found it. One box was $15, but there will be six of us, so I made it two boxes -- and then with tax I stared at that $30 plus and again became paralyzed. Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? It's annoying.
What's funny is that, after shaking myself by my own lapels, I clicked "check out" -- YES, I am about to spend $30+ on Christmas candy -- and I didn't notice that the default setting for shipping was FedEx overnight and when I clicked on "confirm purchase" -- the sum of $14.95 got added to my order. The next screen showed my receipt, and it wasn't worth trying to change.
But it reminded me that if we don't spend our money and keep it circulating, the universe finds ways to spend it for us.