Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Struggle Continues...

Last night, as I was going to sleep, I had a smile on my face. Looking around, I realized I was alone in bed, so there had to be another explanation... and I had nothing in particular I was looking forward to for today and I finally realized that the smile was caused by finally taking the three dresses out of my closet to my dining room table ready to be packed off for the thrift store. I also added three pairs of shoes and two shirts.

This morning, I was looking to see if there was anything else, and I opened a dresser drawer and saw a bunch of pantyhose packages, unopened... and here's the embarrassing part: one of the pairs was white. I swear it must be left over from the 1980s. Even the packaging looked old. So I took that pair, and a pair in gray (did we really used to wear tinted pantyhose??). That left seven pair of "neutral" pantyhose.

Here's where the struggle comes in: I so rarely wear pantyhose that I don't need seven spare pairs. I also know these must be ten years old.

Marianne Williamson says all our behavior is motivated either by fear or by love... and in the case of not letting go of ALL of the pantyhose, it's definitely fear. Fear that I won't find any that fit me like these do. Fear that I'll be called on to attend some event where I had to wear pantyhose (yeah, like they'll put it on the invitation!). Fear of being without. Fear of being caught short.

I have to make a compromise. I am giving away all but three pair. Someone might question if I struggle with this, why force myself? The answer is, once the struggle is done, I'm thrilled.

A few years back, I decided that I wanted to be able to open up my underpants drawer and be able to take any pair, even blindfolded! Rather than saying, Oh are these the ones that ride up? Are these the ones with the tear? Are these the ones that give me a wedgie? Or worse, KNOWING these are the ones that give me a wedgie and keeping them in the drawer anyway-- yes, JUST IN CASE. Just in case I develop a wedgie fetish or something, I'll be prepared.

So I did that, and I have to say that I get one second of pleasure every time I open my underpants drawer and select a pair at random. I am easily pleased by myself.

Now I feel as if I'm on a roll. My helper comes tomorrow and I want her to go to the thrift shop with a nice big bag of things I can bless somebody else with. Someone on the island of Manhattan might just be looking for a pair of white pantyhose. For an 80s retro disco party maybe?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I did that a few years ago. I had about a dozen bags of Legg's pantyhose in my drawer in 3 different colors. Each bag containing 3 pair. I threw out all but 3 bags. You guessed it, 1 in each color. Last year, I came upon those 3 bags and guess what????I finally threw them out also. There is a certain freedom to not wearing pantyhose.

I stopped wearing them 1 year in P.R. when it was about 100 degrees and my thighs were chaffed and dripping. I went itto a public bathroom and ripped them off and never looked back!

I am freeeee...Stephanie