Silence and we both thought about that one...
An hour or so later, I received my history lesson from Lane...
Your misadventure did prompt me to research some of the history of toilet paper…
The greeks used pieces of stone and clay.
The Romans apparently used a sponge at the end of a stick — which was communally used by everyone. Yippee. Kept in a bucket of heavily salted seawater when not in use.
Earliest use of paper for the task was the chinese (of course) — 1391, the Emperor of the Song dynasty ordered 2’ x 3’ sheets of paper for his toilet purposes. But apparently, the Chinese before then were already using random sheets of paper.
Queen Elizabeth I’s godson invented the flush toilet in 1596, but not toilet paper to go with it.
In Colonial times here, the item of choice was corncobs. At some point, that switched to old magazines and newspapers. Apparently, the reason the Farmer’s Almanac had a hole in the upper left corner was so it could be hung in the outhouse after reading it, for “other uses.”
It wasn’t until 1857 that Joseph Gayety invented commercial toilet paper. “Gayety’s medicated paper" was available until the late 1920s, with his name watermarked on the sheets.
Imagine last night with clay, stones, or corn cobs. Makes the current set-up seem so civilized and comfy, doesn’t it?
Okay, school’s out for the day. Hope you feel better.
I have fully recovered thanks to a flush toilet and soft toilet paper.