Homeward Bound Q &A

 

 

 

I am doing the same slow trip home -- and telling myself that I should try hard to enjoy this and not worry about being ready for action again first thing Monday morning. I'll arrive home sometime on Monday.

I have always loved and depended on both Mapquest and Google Maps, sort of alternating between the two and comparing. But neither did a good job from Indiana to Oshkosh. Last night I did the route in reverse on both Mapquest and Google Maps and never really understood the route. So today I just played it by ear and did the whole thing just by signage.

Perhaps they try to keep you off tollroads. I did have to pay 80 cents four times, but I'm willing to do that in order to have a clear route. I was stuck for about an hour in traffic, really bad, 2 mph for miles traffic... and it was in a construction zone but that couldn't explain it all -- and then I came upon this horrific accident with several cars and a huge truck which was sideways, partially on the highway but across a lane and smashed up. When I see that, I always think "if I had gotten up earlier" or "if I had not stopped for breakfast" or whatever, would that be me in that accident?

So look at the first photo of the motorcycle. The traffic was so slow that I had a chance to talk to these people. Their license plate says Washington state, and I asked them if they had ridden all the way from Washington State. I was surprised when the man, who was driving, tilted up his face screen and he was about 60. He told me yes, all the way. I asked where they were headed... Washington DC. I said, "Sounds like fun."

And then I thought SOUNDS LIKE FUN?? It sounds like torture, but I think what I was reacting to was just the adventure of it.

So I had this brilliant plan. I wanted an audio book to listen to. Mary had given me one for the trip out, which I loved, and then (as per her instructions) passed it along to someone else. I remembered that Cracker Barrel has audio books AND, of course, chicken fried steak. I could kill two birds with one stone.

I stopped at Cracker Barrel for a late lunch, got my chicken fried steak and then went to browse the books, was happy to see that they are unabridged, but then I noticed that you RENT them by the week and turn it over at the next Cracker Barrel when you're finished.

This overly helpful (if that's possible) young Cracker Barrel girl approached me with her literary suggestions. I told her I wanted to buy, not rent, as I live in NYCity and we have no Cracker Barrels there.

"That's impossible," she said. And off she went to find the Cracker Barrel corporate map. Well, sure enough. No Cracker Barrels in Manhattan. She then went to ask the manager if I could buy instead of rent.

As it turns out, you buy first, at retail, and then they refund you. Unfortunately, the retail price of most books, very few of them I'd heard of, was $40 and I really didn't want to spend that.

Then the helpful girl wanted to know my route and she was plotting the hours of the books vs the time of my trip. She clearly wanted to make a sale.

Then Joel mosies over. My buddy explains what she's doing, and he tells me there's no Cracker Barrels in California due to a trademark infringement with Cracker Barrel cheese which is made there. Then he added, "And the Cracker Barrel restaurant doesn't want stores in California because their minimum wage is too high" and I said, "Cracker Barrel should pay you a living wage" and he agreed.

I decide I don't want the pressure of an audio book I have to return so I head to my hotel. I literally am out of clean clothes -- no, make that wearable clothes, so when I check in I ask for a room near the "guest laundry" and she complies, purely by accident since I'd already been assigned a room.

I ask her what the machines take and she snorts and says "I have no idea." Like "why are you asking me that?" It was as if I had asked her how many moons Jupiter has, or how do you say pickle relish in Armenian? I thought that was a very appropriate question.

Turns out it's $1.50 for wash, and $1.50 to dry. I bought two little boxes of Tide for one dollar each.

Oh, and as if the traffic back up wasn't annoying enough, I was keeping pace with this RV. I hate hate hate incorrect apostrophes. This should not be The Hoover's. It should be The Hoovers. It annoyed the hell out of me and I kept having to see it. If you ever run into Richard and Dannalene (The Hoovers) at the RV Camp, let them know they should correct their spare tire cover.

Wisconsin's Giant Mosquitos

The mosquitos have been bad this year -- day and night. Yesterday, I was having a meeting with three other people -- folding chairs pushed in a little circle on the grass. One of the people mentioned how bad the mosquitos were, and another fellow pulled out a pack of baby wipe-style cloths that had insect repellent. We all took one and were wiping our faces and arms and I said if anyone is looking at us, we must look like a weird religious sect that does some sort of cleansing ceremony prior to the meeting.

Today I took my whole bottle of Bactine with me. When I was packing to come here, I threw it in at the last minute because I remember a year where I got bitten between the toes and was nearly driven mad by the itching trying to go to sleep that night and not having anything to put on the bites. So all day when someone I was talking to was itching uncomfortably, I would whip out my Bactine. They were so grateful. I felt like Florence Nightengale on the battlefield. I saw some butt ugly bites today... Men's white ankles under their socks with big red bites.

I advised that the Bactine takes about three minutes to take effect, but it will stop the itching. Just getting out of my car this afternoon to come back to the hotel, I got bitten on the face and neck so it's my turn for the Bactine.

I'm off tomorrow heading East. Have to check Google maps and find a hotel to stay in. Homeward bound.

More from Oshkosh

Just back in my hotel room, zooming through email before I meet a colleague for dinner. I don't normally go for cutesy signature lines, but this one did make me smile as it seems as if every meeting I've had here, I'm the only one without an iPad.

Sent from my PC, although I really want an iPad

My friend and I did celebrate Bratfest 2010 at Mr. Cinders. Both of us confessed it was the highlight of this event for us, which says how burned out we are.

Back in New York, my friend Stephanie and I pay homage to her cardiologist each time she salts the nacho chips when we go to our favorite Mexican restaurant. Today my friend and I didn't have the bacon wrapped tenderloin (keeping cardiologists in business for years to come), but we did have our yearly bratwurst. When I pulled back the bun of mine to apply the mustard, I see that at Mr. Cinders, bratswurst is served with a big helping of butter, melting down the bratwurst. Hard to imagine, really, but it is. A Manhattan cardiologist would get his own chest pains over that one.

All is Well

[photo: I have about a 15 mile drive from my hotel to the show, and this is a typical view -- farmland on both sides; everything is very green.]


Since you're not supposed to talk business on a personal blog, I will say that all is well. I have four press events to do successfully -- either a lunch or breakfast followed by a news conference and now I've done three of the four. I have to say that I am good at this -- at making sure the food is there on time, that there's enough food and also ensure that the company gets the right and enough people. I do enjoy getting a big turnout and then pointing out to a client a press conference with two people in attendance. I want to make sure they don't take what I do for granted.

So for the past two days, I've gotten up at 5:30 which is definitely not me. I have my last media breakfast tomorrow and then on Friday, I have to be on site at 6:45 for another client's breakfast where I have to hand out surveys to their members in attendance.

After the rain practically washed out the show, it has been sunny and warm -- really very pleasant, in fact.

Here's an odd culinary fact about this part of Wisconsin and maybe all parts, but I've never seen it anywhere but the Dairy State. It is not uncommon to be served a hamburger with a scoop of butter on top. And it's also not uncommon to be served french fries with sour cream to dip instead of ketchup.

I have my yearly bratwurst here, and that happens tomorrow. Years ago, a colleague and I were overlooked for thanks in this somewhat fancy dinner, where every employee and consultant was mentioned except him and me. So for ten plus years, we've recognized each other by going out for bratwurst at this place called Mr. Cinders, so called because of the charcoal grill. We call this annual lunch Bratfest (a popular Wisoncsin event)and toast each other. So Bratfest 2010 takes place tomorrow. I'll photograph it.

Welcome to Wisconsin

 

Here's a sign you wouldn't see in New York. Mmmmmm... give me a side of those cheese curds. I'm not quite sure I know what cheese curds are -- at least not the kind you'd eat in a tent.

Safe Arrival

I've made it to my destination with a whole lot of traffic in Chicago. I have to look at a map as I believe Google maps took me on an odd route. I got off a main highway, to a smaller route which went for a few miles through a really rough neighborhood -- the type with tire stores, awning manufacturers and Chinese food places with bars on the windows.

That turned into a bad residential area, then to a nicer residential area, then into Lake Shore Drive and I was right on Lake Michigan. It's such an odd sight because it looks like the ocean, the waves are as big as the ocean and it just seems weird to go from corn fields to something that looks like it belongs on the East Coast. I wondered why no one was in the water until I heard on the radio that the beaches were closed because of the flooding rain and sewage overflowed.

So I made it, trying to have a positive attitude about being here, trying to think of the people I like who I will see. But as I checked in, there were two typical showgoers -- straight from central casting -- in front of me -- you know, the slightly angry thin and wiry white guys in their 50s. They were trying to get a room. It annoyed me because one of them said "If worse came to worst, we'll take a king size bed" and sort of chuckled -- and you know the subtext was "not that we're gay or anything" and the only thing they had was a suite for $149. I would have grabbed it -- It had a king size bed and a pull out sofa that was queen size.

Here they are, the night before the huge show, you don't have a room, a decent hotel has a suite, and they bitched about the price. They didn't want to pay that much. They pointed to a sign that said something like "rooms from $69" and the desk clerk said... "the sign says FROM $69" -- and they bitched about well, maybe you should add "yeah, and up to $149." Then they left, disgusted, as if the hotel clerk was trying to rob them.

I have to say for this show, hotel rooms are so in demand that you make a reservation a year in advance, pay months in advance so it was amazing that any room was even available.

I swear I try to arrive with positive attitude and I wasn't even checked in and I was annoyed. My wish is that they dicker and bicker and end up having to sleep in a parking lot. If you can afford to come to this show, you can afford a $149 hotel room.

Moment of synchronicity: I had passed some historical sign and I was thinking about an event and realized that I had reggae playing on the CD. Just as I said to myself, "My thoughts don't match this music...Reggae has nothing to do with American history..." Bob Marley starts singing the song "Buffalo Soldier."

Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta
There was a buffalo soldier in the heart of America
Stolen from Africa, brought to America
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival

Buffalo soldiers were freed blacks who served in the army starting in 1866, up to the Spanish American War. The generally accepted explanation about their name is that the Native Americans called them that because the soldiers' curly brown hair resembled that on a buffalo.

Same Hotel Chain/Different Location

I have to say I like this chain.

My room is similar to last night's with some upgrades: note microwave, refrigerator, coffee maker and flat screen TV (over desk). There's about two feet to the wall on one side of the bed, and two feet to the window seat on the other. About three feet from the foot of the bed to the desk.

The chain policy also is free high-speed Internet and also free local AND long distance calls. Also free continental breakfast.

There's probably a name for this, but the blue "runner" on the bed comes off, of course, and the blanket is in between two sheets so you don't get that yucky bedspread full of every conceivable (and some inconceivable) bodily fluids. It just feels so much cleaner without a bedspread.

The entire room is clean, fresh, new and all this for $64.