Sometimes I have to laugh at my own anxiety dreams -- how anxious we become while dreaming. Last night I dreamt I had a FedEx package and I called FedEx to have them pick it up and the envelope was sealed but I "realized" I hadn't proofread the letter and didn't know if I should open it to proofread the contents.
So FedEx never came (remember this is an anxiety dream!) and I called them in the morning and the woman said yes, we did too pick it up, and I said, no you didn't, I have the envelope in my hand when I "realized" I was at Mary's house in DC and FedEx had gone to my NY address. So then I decided to open the envelope and saw that there were mistakes in the letter. Of course I had a hard time reading and focusing and understanding the letter, but there were mistakes and I had a computer but didn't have a printer so I didn't know what to do. Then I decided that the mistakes were OK, that I was being too much of a perfectionist, and I would call Fed Ex again to come to Mary's address, but now my FedEx envelope was opened and I didn't have another...
And so it goes... At least I didn't have the "I haven't been to class and don't know my schedule and now there's a test" dream which I still occasionally have. The other anxiety dream I have is that I'm going on a trip on the airlines and can't figure out which gate, or on the way to the airport I "realize" my passport is expired.
The only good thing about an anxiety dream is when you wake up and for a few seconds think the dream is reality and then come to your senses!
5 comments:
I have that dream where you can't read...can't quite focus on the page. I don't know why your brain doesn't try to reduce your stress when you sleep rather than increasing your stress.
Oh gosh, I can't believe you remember your dreams that vividly. I never remember mine once I go back to sleep and wake up again! I'm sure there is some reason I do not... I need a dream analyst!
I still have those school anxiety dreams: can't find my schedule, or my locker, it's the final exam and I completely forgot to go to the classes, etc. Also struggling and struggling but not being able to read something. Like you, I am so relieved when I wake up!
I used to have frequent dreams about losing my purse or wallet - that I would just leave it somewhere and "forget" about it. Nothing I would do in real life. I had this dream so often that I was actually able to train myself to have conscious dreaming where your mind realizes it's a dream and you guide your dream so that the wallet/purse was found and then I'd wake up.
Like in all these anxiety dreams, there's that "how could this have happened?" feeling and "this is so unlike me [to not go to class, to not know my schedule, to not check my passport's expiration; to leave my purse somewhere and walk away, etc.].
And then one day, very relaxed, shopping with friends, I put my clutch purse down to look at something in a store and walked away. Yeah, I really did it. Realized within a minute that I didn't have it, panicked, ran right back to where I had been and found it on the floor under the display. The floor had a pattern and the clutch purse had a pattern, and no one had noticed it--yet. Would have been a disaster, as I was not in my hometown. As it was, it was just a warning that sometimes that kind of stuff doesn't just happen in dreams. Yikes!! I always carry a purse with a handle or strap now so that I don't have to put it down when I shop. Am I neurotic or what?
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