Fear

I have to say I felt physical fear tonight and it's something I don't normally feel. I had been watching the news and really feel as if I am prepared. Well, I'd give myself a B. I don't have 3 days of drinking water (meaning if something went wrong), but I have heeded all warnings and stocked up.

So about 11:15, I started smelling lighter fluid, and I got it in my mind that some jerk in my building was lighting a fire or something and was going to start a fire that would cause me to leave the building. And I would be stranded with no transportation with an impending hurricane. I knew this fear was mostly groundless, and I was going to call Mary and tell her I was afraid, and then didn't want to wake her up if she were already sleeping, but I'll add that I would not hesitate to wake Mary up if I really needed to talk to her.

I was thinking how tenuous our homes are. They make us feel safe, but we can lose them so easily. I then went through the roster of people and resources I have. I reminded myself that I have tremendous financial resources -- I don't mean I'm a rich person -- but I have money and unlimited credit. There's spome very primal fear of being homeless -- of not having a clean dry bed and food and shelter from the storm (literally). I'll be glad when all this is passed. On the 7-day forecast, there were little smily face suns for Thursday and Friday and that's hard to imagine right now.  The NYC Marathon is Sunday and the news folks were saying as of right now it will go off without a hitch.