"White Girl Wasted"

In my office/utility room, I have a loveseat that became the dumping ground for all things that had no home. Every so often I'd pick something up and stare at it, not knowing what to do with it. For example, I was completely flummoxed by a bookmark. Yeah, one little bookmark. I read. I read a lot. I use bookmarks, but how many do you need? Ok, so I decide to get rid of it... it's too good to just throw away, but can you put one little bookmark in the thrift shop bag? That's what I ended up doing.

Today, when Marilyn, my helper, came, we tackled that loveseat. I sat in a chair like Queen Poobah and she brought me 5 articles at a time. I told her don't overwhelm me and don't bring more until I've made a decision on each item. My fear, of course, is that I put some items aside and so when she leaves I'm left with a dozen or so things I STILL dont know what to do with. Naturally, some were easy -- an old rental car map, some old loose photographs, a brand-new decorative candle. We had garbage, recycling and thrift as possibilities -- and, of course, a proper place for a few things.

Having watched "Hoarders" more times that I care to admit, I recognize that hoarding behavior. For example, one item was 1/2 empty (1/2 full??) little bottle of hotel shampoo. I so dearly want to hold on to that -- what the heck, there's one more hair washing in that bottle. But I chucked it -- you can tell I'm still thinking about it, though, but the garbage is taken out (thanks, Marilyn) and it's gone.

Just as I was eyeing the clock and deciding we'd work on this for 20 more minutes, Marilyn announces, "That's it." I was dumbfounded. Really? Nothing left? I wish sometimes I could take back all the energy that I expended thinking about the crap on that bench and how I need to deal with it and put that energy to some useful purpose. In all, it took about 15 minutes.

While we work, we always enjoy each other's company and today I learned about black women's hair -- the new trend is this woman on You Tube who is suggesting to black women that their hair may be breaking and difficult to grow because of all the harsh chemicals women have used and on You Tube she gives all this advice and recipes to make natural products for your hair. It makes sense and Marilyn is trying the techniques. She patiently answered all my questions -- such as "When you see the hairdresser sewing in a weave, what is he sewing to?" As it turns out, the hairdresser first does a braid across the back of your head and then the weave is sewn into that braid.

We also had a laugh when Marilyn spontaneously used the term "white girl wasted" to describe someone and saw the puzzled look on my face... like "do white girls get drunk different than black girls?" So she was explaining what it means, and we checked with UrbanDictionary.com and here's what it says:

To get completely drunk, wasted or sloshed to the point where you can no longer control yourself physically or mentally. Term originally given to younger white girls, mainly college freshman, after they consume way too much alcohol. This commonly results in overall incoherency, and brief "skankyness" before a quick emotional breakdown. Which are all followed up by the process of destroying the party through multiple drunken slurs and complete trashyness and finally passing out in an upstairs bedroom because they are too drunk to make it home.

I love slang because there's such subtlety to it -- it's not just very drunk; it's a particular brand of being very drunk. I don't think I've ever been white girl wasted. Not even in college. Back then, Mary and I had a roommate who would get white girl wasted. You know the loud drunkeness with the runny mascara tracks down her face after her crying breakdown over some man who done her wrong.

Oh, and here's how to use it in a sentence:

Yo, does Brian have a lampshade on his head? He is white girl wasted.