Another lovely spring day. I saw a piece on the local news, filmed in Central Park with all the kids running around and a mother saying she had a 2-year old and a 3-year old cooped up for two months. That could be maddening. I've had the window open fairly wide all day, but winter is coming back, but it's been great to have a respite from it, even for two days.
I am feeling overwhelmed by work, by personal business, by everything that needs to get done. The metaphor that feels right to me is if you've ever seen an ice machine in a hotel where there is an internal sweeper arm that sweeps the ice into this clear plastic hopper and you press a button and the ice comes out of the hopper into your ice bucket. The hopper is empty for about 2 seconds until the sweeper arm fills it again.
That's what work feels like: no matter how much I bang out, the hopper just keeps refilling. What exacerbates the situation is that I'll be going to a Conference next week and will have to work during the day with this one client so everything just seems frantic.
I was reading today about self-trust and the need to develop it and trust that you've gotten yourself this far and that you have to trust that you will keep going.
But today it was like I was on the current of a fast river -- the phone kept ringing and I'd realize I have three emails all started at once and had to say STOP... and do one of my other mantras which is "All I can do is the next thing that needs to be done."
Anything anyone says about how lucky we are -- yes, I get it. I'd rather be here than have no work, but I also envy those people who, for whatever reason, have the luxury of taking a month off. I could use one.
4 comments:
We should have talked today. I had a similar one. And I felt like I was the only one working. I left many messages and emails and no one would answer.... Which meant I could not complete anything!! Very frustrating!!
I love working for myself but I sometimes envy those who get a paycheck even if they slack off 50% of the time!!
My work would be 50% easier if people would return phone calls and respond to emails. I try to make it as easy as possible. "I need ten minutes on the phone to interview you." I don't chit chat; I am low maintenance.
On Friday, I got short-tempered with this one woman and her assistant finally gave me her cell phone and she had her kid in the car and the dog was barking too and she was apologetic and said how "busy" she's been.
I hate that... what the hell am I? We're all busy.
Sometimes I say "What would I have to do to get you to call me back?" That's reserved for four or five unanswered calls.
My strongest line (which works) is I tell them that I am "just" a freelance writer and get paid a set amount whether I call you once or have to chase you around and call five times so everytime I call you this job because less and less profitable for me. I've only said that twice, and that was out of complete frustration -- but it has the added benefit of being true.
Sometimes you have to just stop and smell the roses!
Or....have a couple of margaritas!
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