Homeward Bound Q &A

 

 

 

I am doing the same slow trip home -- and telling myself that I should try hard to enjoy this and not worry about being ready for action again first thing Monday morning. I'll arrive home sometime on Monday.

I have always loved and depended on both Mapquest and Google Maps, sort of alternating between the two and comparing. But neither did a good job from Indiana to Oshkosh. Last night I did the route in reverse on both Mapquest and Google Maps and never really understood the route. So today I just played it by ear and did the whole thing just by signage.

Perhaps they try to keep you off tollroads. I did have to pay 80 cents four times, but I'm willing to do that in order to have a clear route. I was stuck for about an hour in traffic, really bad, 2 mph for miles traffic... and it was in a construction zone but that couldn't explain it all -- and then I came upon this horrific accident with several cars and a huge truck which was sideways, partially on the highway but across a lane and smashed up. When I see that, I always think "if I had gotten up earlier" or "if I had not stopped for breakfast" or whatever, would that be me in that accident?

So look at the first photo of the motorcycle. The traffic was so slow that I had a chance to talk to these people. Their license plate says Washington state, and I asked them if they had ridden all the way from Washington State. I was surprised when the man, who was driving, tilted up his face screen and he was about 60. He told me yes, all the way. I asked where they were headed... Washington DC. I said, "Sounds like fun."

And then I thought SOUNDS LIKE FUN?? It sounds like torture, but I think what I was reacting to was just the adventure of it.

So I had this brilliant plan. I wanted an audio book to listen to. Mary had given me one for the trip out, which I loved, and then (as per her instructions) passed it along to someone else. I remembered that Cracker Barrel has audio books AND, of course, chicken fried steak. I could kill two birds with one stone.

I stopped at Cracker Barrel for a late lunch, got my chicken fried steak and then went to browse the books, was happy to see that they are unabridged, but then I noticed that you RENT them by the week and turn it over at the next Cracker Barrel when you're finished.

This overly helpful (if that's possible) young Cracker Barrel girl approached me with her literary suggestions. I told her I wanted to buy, not rent, as I live in NYCity and we have no Cracker Barrels there.

"That's impossible," she said. And off she went to find the Cracker Barrel corporate map. Well, sure enough. No Cracker Barrels in Manhattan. She then went to ask the manager if I could buy instead of rent.

As it turns out, you buy first, at retail, and then they refund you. Unfortunately, the retail price of most books, very few of them I'd heard of, was $40 and I really didn't want to spend that.

Then the helpful girl wanted to know my route and she was plotting the hours of the books vs the time of my trip. She clearly wanted to make a sale.

Then Joel mosies over. My buddy explains what she's doing, and he tells me there's no Cracker Barrels in California due to a trademark infringement with Cracker Barrel cheese which is made there. Then he added, "And the Cracker Barrel restaurant doesn't want stores in California because their minimum wage is too high" and I said, "Cracker Barrel should pay you a living wage" and he agreed.

I decide I don't want the pressure of an audio book I have to return so I head to my hotel. I literally am out of clean clothes -- no, make that wearable clothes, so when I check in I ask for a room near the "guest laundry" and she complies, purely by accident since I'd already been assigned a room.

I ask her what the machines take and she snorts and says "I have no idea." Like "why are you asking me that?" It was as if I had asked her how many moons Jupiter has, or how do you say pickle relish in Armenian? I thought that was a very appropriate question.

Turns out it's $1.50 for wash, and $1.50 to dry. I bought two little boxes of Tide for one dollar each.

Oh, and as if the traffic back up wasn't annoying enough, I was keeping pace with this RV. I hate hate hate incorrect apostrophes. This should not be The Hoover's. It should be The Hoovers. It annoyed the hell out of me and I kept having to see it. If you ever run into Richard and Dannalene (The Hoovers) at the RV Camp, let them know they should correct their spare tire cover.