Discombobulated

You know the feeling when everywhere you look is work? I feel somewhat shamed when my life feels out of control and I think of a single mother with four kids who goes to school and works full time and I have trouble keeping one life in working order, but I do.

My suitcase is half unmpacked... well, maybe I should start with the positives. My apartment is clean. I am down to one load of laundry. I have a pile ready for the drycleaner. I bought groceries. I haven't missed any deadlines yet.

And speaking about how easy my life should be, or rather how fortunate I am on a number of levels, the man who helps me ("helps me" is relative -- he does the work, and I write the check)do my garden came today at my request and did winter clean up and will be back later this week with the flowers.

I found Robert on Craigslist and he is really wonderful. He told me today that he is going on vacation to see the Redwood trees in California. He said, "For a gardener, that's like going to the Vatican." I had been feeling somewhat whimsical so I told him I want a butterfly garden. I know my plants have attracted some butterflies, but we're going to go all out this year.

Ok, so some things are going well, but my bathtub cold water went from drip drip drip to a small, steady stream. I need a plumber. I need to go to the bank. I need to go to the dry cleaner. I need to pay some bills and go to the post office. I need to get some work-work stuff done. I fantasize about how wonderful it would be to have a house manager who did all of this.

So I've been telling myself "babysteps, babysteps" -- that's how things get done, one load of laundry, one piece of junk mail into the recycling bin at a time... and just when I think I'm coping and calm, I get a voice mail to call someone at the bank which holds my mortgage.

Ha ha, I think. I always pay my mortgage on time. I always pay almost double my mortgage payment so there can't be a problem... then that little haze forms in my mind. I know I mailed the check, but now that I think about it... Hmmmm... I don't remember seeing that it had cleared.

I call them back, go through the horrid phone tree experience, and sure enough no check from me this month. The good news is that since I mailed the payment in the original envelope, the post office scans it and so the bank could tell that the envelope from me was scanned on April 5th.

However, that same envelope is a no show, and it's my responsibility. They recommended that I wait to see if the check shows up by the 28th, but I really don't want to wait that long. Of course, they can see my payment record, which I pointed out to them, and the woman said, it's "pretty good." And I replied PRETTY GOOD??? And she said, "Ok, it's very good."

I really hate stuff like this. The mortgage bank said they'd waive the late fee (gee, thanks), but I will still get charged by my bank if I cancel the check. I believe I may just pay April again, and if the orginal check shows up, it can just be applied to the next month. Or the next. Or the next.

And to add insult to injury, I can't find my checkbook. Oh I know it's here somewhere because I never take it out anywhere but this is all part and parcel of being discombobulated.

Babysteps. Babysteps. Babysteps.