Valentino's Valentine

Fran says:

Valentino (appropriate name for the occasion), wearing his love glasses, asks, Will you be my Valentine?

Friday report

Yesterday's trip home was a dream comparing it to the last one. This is an ambulette service that the hospital uses so I felt good about that -- that they needed to keep the hospital happy and not just one individual. The driver was an older Russian man named Illya and he was wonderful. He helped with all the luggage and then helped as I went up the dreaded STAIRS outside.

I got my foot on the first step ( 10 inches) and could not lift myself up. Mary was there and I said to her to do whatever she had to do to shove my ass up that step. Well she later told me she just sort of worked as a block so I couldn't move backward, but wasn't pushing me forward. She reminded me that the first was the worst.

Then I did the next two, the next step and there were three to go. Illya came and held out his hand so I could push up against the railing and he pulled my hand. He kept saying, "Take your time" but I am overly aware that -- well, in my mind, he and Mary are thinking "how the hell long is she going to take?" when that is nowhere in their minds. I would say it took me two minutes or less to make it up the stairs. I felt like giving myself a medal.

So Mary got me settled in; I laid down around 3 to 5, just with Mary there and the TV on quietly and I probably slept for 15 minutes. Mary left around 6 and I was OK on my own.

Got groceries this morning (delivered).... I didn't mention that Marilyn came by yesterday and went out and got all my prescriptions filled and Mary left today about 2, but couldn't get on a train until 6 -- we'd forgotten about the holiday weekend.

How do I feel? I feel emotionally battered (still) and just weary. Physically I feel tired, but am doing what I need to do to take care of myself. I remind myself that each day it should get better.

Thank you to everyone who remembered me in thoughts, prayers, sent me stuff, helped me in 100 different ways. I appreciate it.

Home again

Safe and sound, but I'm worn out so I'm going to lay down for a while and Mary is here and all is well.

Tuesday Progress

Today, they took me away from the "beginner" steps in the PT room to the real-life steps in a fire exit stairway... a real flight of steps. I walked to the steps, went up and down the flight, and they had a wheelchair waiting for me and I said I would walk back to the PT room which I did.

The cheerleaderly "high five, Miss Pat" aside, I knew my PT guy was really stunned. He told me he had never had someone do the steps for the first time and then be able to walk back to the room. I overheard him telling some other PT therapists what I had done. So that made me feel good that it wasn't the fake motivational encouragement. That's probably unfair to say -- both to me and to my PT guy but I would rather have a muttered, "nice job" than a squealing "high five!!!"

Arrangements have been made for the ride home. Mary is coming to be my "escort." That's what they call it.

Then Barbara came today and I'm about 3/4th packed. Barbara worked like a demon, and we sorted and threw away and I looked like a hoarder which I'm not. I still had Christmas cards and other things... clothes that weren't mine... a whole bunch of stuff to get rid of. So we are hyper organized.

I can't say that I have a particular thing I want to do, or eat, when I get home. Here are some desires:

• To sleep in the dark with no TV on (right now, sometimes there are two TVs going in my room and my roommate sleeps with the light on
• To have food that is hot (not spicy, but temperature wise) and not from a steam table
• To wash the institutional stink out of my clothes and remove the nametags -- when I say stink, I just mean that they use Grade F detergent so everything has a vaguely unpleasant smell and dingy look to it. I need my Liquid Gain and dryer sheets!
• To regain my dignity and my modesty.
• To have a decent salad and other fresh fruits and vegetables. I am not saying this in a "diet" way, but 95% of the fruits and vegetables here are canned.
• As much as I appreciate and enjoy Mary and she will help me, I am sort of looking forward to being alone which I have not been in weeks. I am not saying, "leave me alone" -- not at all, but I do want to be physically alone for at least some time.

One more day, and I am supposedly out of here at 11 am on Thursday.

Going Home

Got the word today that I am officially homeward bound on Thursday -- now in the process of making all of the arrangements.

Sunday report

Not much to say about today; other than everyone is talking about the weather. PT starts again tomorrow so we'll see if I can earn an A-

Mary's furnace conked out so she sent me this photo of her substitute. Looks quite cozy to me. Hand me a quilt and a good book and I'm set.

 

 

PS from Barbara who just wrote:

 

I just saw Mary's fire on your blog, and I thought you'd like to see mine up here in CT.  I'm sitting in front of it right now with a book!  (The andiron cats are named Bashful and Nashville, and keep us company on those weekends our real cats stay in NYC.)

 

 



Saturday/Baby Adelyn

Dull day in Flushing. Not much to report.

Meanwhile, here's the latest baby photo with Adelyn rockin' in her jeans.